Red, The Town, some zombies and Angel Heart

Last one first.  If you are a fan of explosions and enjoyed Space Cowboys, you SO have to go see Red.  Bruce Willis (surprisingly good), Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Mary-Louise Parker (those EYES) and Helen Mirren, all playing this bit of fluff just as it deserves.  All, save for the eyes, are old spies.  Bruce gets in a spot of trouble, and as Morgan Freeman says, “We’re putting the band back together.”  Lots of shooting, lots of wonderful, ridiculous explosions, very little gore, no nekkidness, just a hoot.  Mirren is an assassin and loves heavy weapons.  She’s also a drop dead parody of Martha Stewart with a .50 cal machine gun—not as far -fetched an idea as one might initially think.

Plot?  Not much.  Parker spends a lot of time with duct tape over her mouth, which is a hoot.  Of course she and Bruce fall in love.  Malkovich is the looniest of all, sort of like the helicopter pilot in the original A-Team.  For such a weird-looking guy, he has to be one of the best actors working right now.  Morgan Freeman has “stage 4 lung cancer” and his specialty is being smarter than the rest, I think.    Everything comes out pretty well in the end—one person goes out honorably in the service of the others.  Oh, yeah, and there’s a Russian involved, one from the “old days,” for which they all pine.

Not a lot of art here, but it’s fun, a great release, and seeing all these folks together is terrific fun.  Very highly recommended.

I’m not quite as sanguine about The Town, a reference to the Charlestown area of Boston.  This is a bank robbery movie about Ben Affleck being Ben Affleck, directed and produced by Ben Affleck who hasn’t been worth a hill of beans since Armageddon. Evidently Charlestown Boston breeds thieves like Louisiana breeds mosquitoes.  The robberies are fun to watch, all the planning and the car chases and the way the cops are made to look stupid.  There is strife within the “gang,” fistfights, a lot of shooting, bad talk and stuff.  If you are a Ben Affleck fan, you might like this for all the time he’s chewing the scenery.  I liked the action sequences, but then I am a guy.  Not a great date movie.  I’d wait for the DVD.

I saw the first installment of AMC’s Walking Dead on Hulu, my link to the world.  I know there have been two episodes and there’s some question about the rest being shown.  If you are a zombie person (I am, also vampires, but werewolves suck), you might like this.  The effects are movie quality and while it’s graphic, at least there is a story.  It’s a trite story, but how much can you do with zombies walking the streets?  Oh, and these are traditional slow moving Zombies, not the bogus fast runners the Brits tried to force on us.  Everyone knows the scariness in zombies is their inexorable stumbling pursuit and not their sprinting.  That’s for werewolves (which suck).

I also watched a 1987 Mickey Rourke movie called Angel Heart. Robert de Niro has a small role in this as Satan.  The story is confusing (on purpose), but it is fun to watch.  It is set in 1950’s New Orleans mostly and is basically the human equivalent of a soul-damned dog chasing its tail.  There’s a bit of gore, one pretty intense sex scene, confusion, as well as Lisa Bonet and Charlotte Rampling.  Probably the story was well-written, but the movie isn’t.  If you are a fan of Rourke, this is before he ruined his face and he fits the time period perfectly.  His acting is one dimensional because the character is, too.  His discovery at the end snaps him into reality in a terrible way.  Mostly I liked this because of the south Louisiana scenery, I guess.  You do get to see Rourke’s rear end, if that’s an enticement for you.  Lisa Bonet hets nekkid, too, but that’s not all that rare for her in the absence of talent.

Spanky, Movie Dude

 

 

 

Get Low

Over the weekend we went to see Get Low, starring Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, and Bill Murray with a fine supporting cast.  Duvall will get the Oscar for acting, Murray has a shot for Supporting Actor (He will surprise you) and the writing award should go to this, too.  The story is about a hermit who after a literal 40 years in the wilderness decides to have his funeral before he dies, ostensibly to hear what people have to say about him.  He is, in South of Depression America, a figure of myth and suspicion.  What the “funeral” turns out to be is quite different, a tour de force, catharsis in its truest form.

Duvall as he ages, acts like an old man.  I don’t mean this to be glib.  His acting is so literally that of a very old, tired and sick old man it’s heart rending.  His story, when told, is amazing, and the movie will leave you a bit stunned at the artistry, performances, and the story itself.  I thought The Apostle or possibly Assassination Tango were his best work, but they don’t even get close.  See this in the theater if you can, just for the richness of the images and the picture of the lives of our parents and grandparents.  It is quite wonderful and the ending is beautiful.  A bit of cussin’, a little drinkin’, one smart ass gets his ass whupped, otherwise safe for all.

Spanky, Movie Dude

Bernard and Doris, The American, and the Fantastic Mr. Fox

The American .  I have to admit to you that I did something I NEVER do, which is read a review of a movie before I see it.  I don’t want to be influenced by some other person’s ideas so that the plot is a surprise and not a confirmation of what someone else thought.  This time, though, being a Clooney fan, I read the dang thing.  Now I have to use some of the reviewer’s words.

This is a very “European” movie.  Lots of pretty pictures, long stretches of little or very small action, conspiracies, some nekkidness, a little violence.  During the showing the power went out in the theater and I heard a woman behind us say, ”I didn’t know we were coming to a silent movie.”  Her friend said, “They certainly didn’t spend much on dialog.”

It’s a different kind of movie for Clooney and I think his very best acting, certainly the most demonstrative, is at the very end.  But it’s pretty to see, an unusual role for him and not completely unsatisfying.  I liked it, but you can’t expect to laugh or for him to be particularly charming, as per usual.  I mentioned the nekkidness?  Not him—sorry ladies.

Bernard and Doris is a really interesting character study starring Susan Sarandon as Dorothy Duke, the heiress (and crazy lady) and her last butler (She had a penchant for firing folks) Bernard Lafferty played by Ralph Fiennes.  They have a strange relationship to say the least and Fiennes is pretty creepy in his way.  Still, though, even with Dorothy’s cruelties and Lafferty’s need to be abused and his alcoholism—hell everyone is a drunk in this movie–  there is a love story and some particularly fine acting.  Not a lot of excitement, just a good, rather slowish movie.  Best Sarandan movie I’ve seen where she stays dressed.

Finally, I just needed to see The Fantastic Mr. Fox. I’m a fool for the new kinds of animation and while this was not exactly Avatar, it’s a real feel-good movie.  Silly, of course, chock full of recognizable voices.  Leads are George Clooney and Meryl Streep, but if you really listen, you’ll Bill Murray and tons of other interesting folks.  The animation is interesting and mostly very detailed and the plot is about being true to your nature- in this case, if you’re a wild animal, BE one.  I started the movie in a wallow of feeling sorry for myself and ended it smiling and feeling good.  Can’t tell you why, save for the happy ending (natch), but I just did.

Spanky, Movie Dude

Chaos, Blind Side, and the Million Dollar Quartet

I went to a play.  I did and there were actors and lights and all the play-stuff that you’d expect.  I was in Chicago with my Squeeze and we went to see “The Million Dollar Quartet” at the Apollo Theater.  To show what a dork I am, I was expecting soul music—it was the Apollo, wasn’t it?  Not the right Apollo, of course, but still you can see how I’d be confused to be in a room full of old (older than me) white folks.  No, this is a play about December 4, 1956 the night Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins and Johnny Cash were all at Sun Studios.  It was the only time they were all there together and this was a great rendition of the story and the music.  All the cast members really captured their characters, sang well, played their own instruments (Jerry Lee put my butt to shame).  I know not many of you are in that neck of the woods, but this is such a great show and not something you want to see some town’s Little Theater massacre. I hope you find yourself near enough to go.  One young man in our part, by the way, said, that he” knew Elvis, but who were those other guys?” I refrained from taking his ignorant young self to school, but I wanted to.  See? I mellow.

Chaos is a fun mindless cop  shooter starring Jason Statham without most of his accent.  It’s got a bit of plot, was shot in Seattle (actually a lot of people were shot in Seattle in this flick) and Wesley Snipes is the bad guy.  The only bad part is the screen is often just full of Ryan Phillippe who is completely unbelievable and precious as a cop or a person.  Good guy-with-beer flick, Seattle is always pretty if not sunny, a couple of plot twists, a bit of gore.  No real nekkidness, some potty talk.

Finally, the chick flick of the afternoon, The Blind Side. Even if you have seen the trailers and decided that this was just too much Sandra Bullock with a drawl, this really is a good movie.  As you probably know it is a bout a young Black man, a huge young black man, who leads a terrible life—Mom’s a crack head, the projects in Memphis are the pits, etc.  Through a surprisingly short set of occurrences, Bullock takes him into her family.  Tim McGraw, THAT Tim McGraw, plays her husband and he is very good, by the way.  Just go rent the movie, OK?  No real surprises, familiar story, but very nicely done, leaves you with hope, a bit of triumph and the satisfaction of knowing it’s a true story.  Oh, and there’s some great football shots.  I don’t know why football can be so beautiful when it’s also so violent and brings out the white trash in folks, but it is and this is worth seeing, too.  Very highly recommended, hoot if you want to.  So there.

Spanky, Movie Guy

A movie, a book, and thou

I loved Cold War spy novels.  All the intrigue and double crosses,  the not very gentlemanly “gentlemen’s agreements,”  the quirky characters.  Le Carre, Follette, you name the pulp writer, I’ve read the majority of their stuff.  Well that’s all messed up now.  There is no structure and few cultural commonalities with our current antagonists, they are hard to understand and, scarily, instead of nifty spying stuff, they just use brute force.  That’s one reason Salt is such a hoot.  It reaches back to the Cold War and world domination conspiracies, Russian sleeper agents, with lots of shooting and explosions.  Angelina Jolie is killer (snicker) in the lead of this movie—the woman who is a suspected Russian sleeper who works for the CIA.  She’s athletic, smart and there is darn near no sexuality in the movie, which I thought a fine choice.  This is about a smart resourceful agent, not a hot chick with guns.  In fact I think the role was originally written for a male actor.  It could have gone either way and did, I guess.  If you liked the Bourne Identity, you’ll like this one.  It’s a little more techie, but not much.  There’s lots of killing, but not that much gore, one torture scene at the beginning, some tacky talk, a great (and improbable) chase scene, some spiffy plot twists, a good cast, and, of course, an ending that leaves the movie open for sequels.  Big fun, highly recommended.

I read this book thing that was leant to me by Marcia’s daughter Meg.  The title is “Gods Behaving Badly.”  It seems that all the old Olympian gods are still around, but because of their great age (not that they’ve aged in looks) is much reduced.  One works as a dog walker to make spare change, the goddess of love works for a phone sex business..  The book is fun and well-written, but the real cleverness is that the gods themselves are portrayed as they were in Greek mythology—full of human failings, bitchiness, a fairly generous amount of contempt for mere mortals and the same competition and vengefulness that’s supposedly been going on for millennia.  I won’t tell you this is great literature, but it is fun and the author, Marie Phillips, did her research.  While this isn’t a chick book in anyway, there aren’t any explosions of Nazis, guys.  Fair warning.  But I liked it—it’s a quick read, an airplane book, if you will.

Spanky, Movie Dude

Inception and The Last Station

Like coots Marcia and I went to the early afternoon movie on Saturday before doddering our way to the grocery.  You have GOT to go see Inception. There’s not way to say this save plainly.  It’s a special effects movie with a plot.  A complex plot.  I nearly had to take notes to keep all the threads going.  Leonardo DiCaprio stars along with a bunch of familiar faces (my favs were Ken Watanabe from Last Samari and Joseph Gordon-Levitt from The Look out and “Third House from the Sun.”  The story is centered on a technology that allows Leo and his group to enter the dreams of people and either steal or implant information.  Everything is revealed in little bitty bits and much of it really is “the stuff of dreams.”  There are wonderful insights into how people (may) think in the subconscious and, since it’s someone’s dreams, the realism and occasional oddness of the effects are just terrific.  Now I have to rely on my brain instead of my eyes to catch the computer generated stuff, it’s that good.  Very highly recommended.

My sister and I differ on The Last Station. It’s the story of the last days of Leo Tolstoy starring Christopher Plummer and Helen Mirren.  They are, of course, wonderful as Leo and his wife.  I think it’s a bit tedious; my sister liked it a lot– personally I think she’s attracted to hugely long unintelligible names that end in “-ski” or “-skaya.”  It’s certainly interesting and is a way to experience something of Russia before the commies turned it into a giant slum.  Beautiful landscapes, Paul Giamatti plays himself, as do the trains and horsies.  Really, if you are a Tolstoy fan, I think you will enjoy this.  If you like a bit of action, may be not so much.

Spanky, Movie Dude

A-Team and Ghost Town

We went to see the A-Team.  This was the best-reviewed movie in town.  What can I say? It’s a small town.  It is quite wonderful crap, really.  LOTS of stunts explosions, flipping cars shooting bad people, blowing stuff up, and they even sink a ship!  A big one!  No one should pay full price to see this movie, never, ever, but if you had 2-10 beers and want to laugh, it’s pretty good.  Liam Neesom stars (I hope he was well paid), Jessica Biel stays irritatingly dressed, Gerald McRaney plays himself in various guises and then there are lots and lots of other people you will never see again because the just blow.

It is a faithful re-do of the TV show except BA’s van gets trashed really early in the show.  I really liked that van—used to have one of those old GMC rattletraps.  “If this van’s rockin” sort of stuff—early 70’s.  I took this one trip through Colorado—- never mind.

So, anyway, the movie really is stupid but it’s a lot of fun to watch the ridiculously intricate “plans” come together.  Neesom looks dumb with a hooter-sized cigar in his mouth, too.  I guess the only thing I liked about this was that it was reminiscent of the old cold war movies—things happened in lots of places—Iraq, Germany, the Western US, DC, etc.  Lots of stupid non-existent technologies, too. I always like those.  I’m still a little irritated with Biel, though.  If they can bust up that many pretty cars and sink a big container ship, she could have got nekkid at least once.  CIA women take showers in knee sox and baseball caps, don’t they?  No?  Must have been a different movie.

So, when this comes out in video and you need your brain scrubbed of serious content and have a ready supply of adult beverages and munchies, this is the flick to see.  I’ not thinking this is a good chick flick.

However, Ghost Town, a Ricky Gervais vehicle IS a good chick flick. Ricky plays a dentist and jerk named Pincus.  He is a complete misanthrope (college word).  But he has an accident and is sort of, like, you know, umm, dead for about 7 minutes.  This leaves him with the ability to see dead people. All the dead people have unfinished business keeping them bopping around New York looking for, you guessed it, a dork like Pincus to finish their lives so that they can vanish in a flash of light, smiling, harps and stuff.  And, of course, Pincus first resists, then begins to change, falls in love, screws that up over and over again, finally takes care of the ghosts needs, and is then rather unceremoniously hit by a bus.  I told you it was a great date movie.  What’s funny about this is that it’s really not.  Funny things happen, but it’s not your basic Gervais-in-your-face kind of stuff.  I kept expecting the ridiculous and what I got was pretty darn good acting.  This isn’t a fast moving story, but the cast is good and Pincus at least sounds like a bad word, doesn’t it?  Definitely a date movie, but not a cuddly one.  You’re on your own for the cuddly.

Spanky, Movie Dude

Uncovered

Uncovered—that would be the name of the movie and the state of Kate Beckinsale’s boobs in a completely gratuitous scene that was shot only for that purpose.  But otherwise this 1994 movie and an art restorer (Kate) and a mystery about who is related to whom, who kills whom, gypsies, penniless people with royal blood, a completely separate 500 year murder mystery, people who seem to lose a lot of blood and chess is pretty good.  A Netflixer, of course, but no doubt once in theaters, this film was shot in Spain, Barce(th)lona to be exact, and it’s so much fun to see.  Lots of beautiful sets, interesting people, solid supporting actors who are familiar faces and such.  There are few places outside the US that I want to go, but Barce(th)lona is definitely one.  This movie is like looking at a pretty picture.  Not that much happens, but still you want to look at it, linger a while, look into the background, see what the photographer saw (besides our Kate’s nekkid chest).  No real violence, only the one instance of gratuitous nekkidness, no potty talk.  Really a nice little movie.

Spanky, Movie Dude

Those of you pining for my voice . . .

Go to http://sites.google.com/site/drspankysplace/home and then to the “Tunes” in the sidebar.

I knew you would.

Ferrets! and the Imaginarium of Dr.Parnassus

Those of you who saw Best in Show, the wonderful look at the dog show culture brought to us by the same group who made A Mighty Wind, Waiting for Guffman, and Spinal Tap, will be particularly drawn to a drop dead serious/hilarious documentary that I saw on the local PBS station this weekend.  It’s called, quite aptly, Ferrets.  I swear it’s about people who have gone WAY over the hill for ferrets, breeding them, showing them, living their whole lives in what I would call ”weasel worship.”  It is an absolute hoot and, to my relief, I would be skinny in the company of these folks.  Like the movie about the Elvis cult that pops up occasionally, this movie will live forever in the “Please, Get a Life” freak show files.  Highly recommended, particularly after an adult beverage or two.

We also finally saw The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. You will remember this is the movie in which Heath Ledger had a starring role until he OD’d and went into real estate.  While the plot, once you get your head around it, is pretty straightforward, the amazing treatment given to it by Terry Gilliam is a HUGE treat for the eyes.  I’m a big fan of Brazil, Baron Munchhausen, and, of course, the original Monty Python stuff Gilliam has done, but artistically I think this is his best work.  He’s gone back to cut outs and old-time weirdnesses, but dressed it all up with the best of CGI technology.  And the cast is amazing, particularly Christopher Plummer as the good Doctor.  Ledger was terrific, but once he got dead, some of his buddies (Johnny Depp, Jude law, and Colin Farrell) who completed his role.  Verne Troyer?  Mini-Me?  He can ACT.  And Tom Waits, who plays the Devil himself, is nothing short of terrific.  I mean he IS short, but he’s also terrific.  Many of you might not have the patience for this thing, as it goes on a long time, but if you love the technical and the beautiful, you will adore this flick.

Also, those of you near Carmel, Indiana, go to the Mudbug Café for some of the best Cajun food outside Louisiana.  Tell them it’s your first visit and you’ll get a sampler that will make you weep.